Hot take: Teaching my son bricklaying, I value patience over precision

My son is helping me build a brick patio in our yard. I let him have fun and learn at his own pace, but my wife says I should push him to do it right. What's the best way to teach family without starting fights?

3 comments

3 Comments

butler.iris8d ago

My dad let me mix mortar when I was ten, and I made a huge mess (but I learned more from that than any perfect job). @brown.ben has a point about it not being heart surgery, but I wonder if your wife's concern is about something else. Have you asked her what she's really afraid of? Like, is it that the patio might sink or crack if not done right, or is it more about neighbors judging the work? Sometimes the fear of things looking messy comes from pressure to keep up appearances (you know, like everyone's yard has to be perfect). If it's about looks, maybe you can compromise by letting your son do a section that's less visible, so he can learn without the stress.

brown.ben8d ago

You say your wife wants to push him to do it right, but it's a brick patio, not a heart surgery. If a couple bricks are off, will anyone even notice in five years? Maybe she's worried it'll look messy, but is that worth making the kid hate the project?

the_pat6d ago

From what I've seen, this push for perfect results over good enough learning is everywhere, from school projects to home repairs. In my experience, the patience to let a kid figure things out, even messily, pays off way more in the long run. Your mileage may vary, but focusing on the fun and lessons now might save fights and build a better bond.