The 30 second head start I always give at 4 way stops keeps bugging me

I was sitting at a 4 way stop in my truck last Tuesday and waved a minivan through even though I got there first. The guy behind me honked and I realized I do this all the time without thinking. Do other people feel like being polite at stop signs messes up the flow for everyone else or is it just me?

3 comments

3 Comments

uma_baker883mo ago

Hell yeah. You're describing the "polite pause" trap. I do the exact same thing. Gave a dude in a Prius the go sign last week, then the guy behind me nearly climbed my bumper. Feels like you're being decent, but it just confuses everyone else. They stop guessing, start second-guessing. Nobody wins. Easiest fix is just to take your turn even if you feel rude about it.

linda_murphy3mo ago

Right, but what's the line between being predictable and being a jerk? Like, if I just blast through a four-way stop in order, I'm fine, but what about when someone's clearly waiting for me even though it's technically my turn? Do you ever just sit there and stare straight ahead pretending you don't see them, or do you cave and wave them through anyway?

sethmartinez2mo ago

I mean, here's what gets me though - when you finally just take your turn and drive through, doesn't that make you feel like you're being a jerk even though you're technically in the right? Like there's this weird guilt that sets in when you ignore the person waiting and just go. Idk, maybe it's just me but I feel like the whole system is designed to make everyone feel bad no matter what you do.